Every set of parents has their own set of standards (or not) for rearing their kids with an emphasis on what's important to them. For me and my husband, it is good manners that makes a kid stand out and be respected. My son is 15 and is still getting compliments from food servers for his politeness. We are proud, of course, but more than that, we are relieved that he will have some advantages for getting along in society. There's a difference between knowing manners and using them. One of the ways we model this for our kids is by asking nicely for them to do things. We rarely make a demand or command to them. We have always preceeded a request with "would you please...empty the dishwasher...clean your room...flush the toilet...do a load of laundry...?" On occasion we've had to raise our voices, but that's because as kids become teenagers, they either space out on the action or just don't feel like getting up right then and there. In return, our kids have always asked nicely for things. The civility between parents and kids is high and therefore, there is very little confrontation. Harmony in the home...that's what I like. Also though, as kids grow up with high standards in communicating, they may have a better chance of responding to the world thoughtfully and with confidence. By the way, once our kids have done something we've asked them to do, guess what we say? You guessed it..."Thank you!"
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